Black Lives Matter

As I've mentioned in a previous post- Black Americanah in Rwanda-one of my biggest struggles throughout my service has been my experience as a Black volunteer.  

Part of a Peace Corps Volunteer's responsibility is to be an ambassador for America, sharing and promoting its values in our countries of service. 

A few months ago two secondary school students knocked on my front door and told me they wanted to learn about America. They had found out I was American from some other students, and wanted to learn about the history and culture. They followed American news, and brought up the killings of black people in America, and the presidential election. One of the students asked me if black people were safe in America and if I would be safe when I go back to America. They told me to not vote for Donald Trump because he hated black people. It's 2016 and I was asked if black people are safe in America. 

How are we supposed to share  America's values of freedom and equality when in reality, those values aren't fully accessible to all people? 

Philando Castile. Alton Sterling. These are the names of the most recent publicized victims of police brutality, additions to a painfully long list. The dehumanization of Black people in America is explicit and atrocious. America is anything but a post-racial society, and effectively addressing the institutionalized racism that encompasses American society will not be an easy task to pursue. But it HAS to be pursued. 

When I was in middle school, high school, and even college, I was always confused about my place in black American society. Throughout my life I was made fun of for 'talking white' and for having mostly white friends. It took me a long time to realize that 'talking white' isn't a thing, and that having white friends did not make me any less black. I'm American by citizenship. British by birth, and I'm Zambian, Gambian and Ghanian by heritage. My time in Peace Corps helped me realize that despite my complex identity, I AM a black American. My complex identity didn't make me any less black. Working through my issues identifying as a black American makes me more confident than ever to stand up with my brothers, sisters and allies and promote BLACK LIVES MATTER because: 

-Being black in America shouldn't  be a disadvantage, but it is.

-Being black in America shouldn't mean you can be turned down for a job because you have an Afro or box braids, but you can.

-Being black in America shouldn't mean that you are stereotyped as a criminal or thug, but it does.

-Being black in America shouldn't mean that your name puts you at a disadvantage for getting a job, but it does.

-Being black in America shouldn't mean that you should be targeted by police because of the color of your skin, but it does.

-Being black in America shouldn't mean that your mugshot from an unrelated incident is publicized in a news story, but it is. 

-Being black in America shouldn't mean that you receive a worse prison sentence for committing the same crime as a white person, but it does. 

-Being black in America shouldn't mean that you're more likely to get killed by police when innocent, but it does.

-Being black in America shouldn't mean that you are ALWAYS publicized as a 'thug and criminal' when your white counterpart is ALWAYS labeled as 'misguided and mentally ill' but it does. 

As Elie Wiesel said so eloquently:  

"We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere. When human lives are endangered, when human dignity is in jeopardy, national borders and sensitivities become irrelevant. Wherever men and women are persecuted because of their race, religion, or political views, that place must - at that moment - become the center of the universe."

In 16 days I will be back in America. I'm  scared to go home. I'm scared for my family and my black friends and what the future holds for us. I'm leaving a country where I feel so safe, for a country where I always have to watch my back. Although my race has always been a topic of discussion, it has rarely been a cause for concern in regards to my safety or treatment as a human being. A country where the only people with guns are in law enforcement, and where there have been zero mass killings since the Genocide occurred 22 years ago. I am soon leaving a country I have grown to love and feel safe in for a country I am scared to return to, but is my home. For the past two years I have been serving a country as an ambassador to promote its values and now I am fearful to return to this very place I have been representing. 

Until next time,

Vanessa